Happy Birthday Brody!

I would like to share my story of how Brody came into being. He will be 1 on Saturday and this blows my mind! Hopefully this will remind you, as it does me, that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first-fruits of all he created." (James 1:17-18)

It all began well over 2 to 3 years ago when our closest friends were ready for the next phase of life: Kids. Jeff and I were not quite there. In fact, we were quite adamant about not going there any time soon. Life was good, but also, in retrospect, predictable, somewhat mundane and I was becoming sad that all my friends were experiencing a new way of life together without me.

It was Jan 17, 2007 and the roads were slick with ice. Jeff was out of town on business and I was headed home from work. I stopped by the CVS on 150th & Western to pick up the monthly pregnancy test. Checking out, the cashier said, "Good Luck" and I laughed within thinking she had no clue that I was hoping and expecting a negative, like always. But it provoked a thought I'd rarely had, "mmm, what if..." and it somewhat excited me.

Fast forward an hour. I finished eating my whatever-I-could-find-in-the-fridge-and-stuff-in-my-mouth after work snack and began picking up the house. I went in the bathroom to routinely throw away the test and as it fell into the trashcan I realized it was positive. OH MY GOD! WHAT?!!!! My next few reactions and thoughts were far from lovely.

I share all of this because I can now see God's beautiful hand on this whole situation. I can now see where He began to make plans for Brody's perfect entrance into this world more than 6 years ago when Jeff and I married. Although it was unexpected to Jeff and me, it just validates how incredibly "planned" for lack of a better word Brody was to the great Creator of us all. Let me explain.

(6 years ago) Jeff and I were at the courthouse about to get our blood taken so we could get our marriage license. It took 2 nurses and Jeff to hold me down as I whaled like a metal patient. My fear of needles, once again, got the best of me. After, a random lady in the public bathroom asked if I was okay. I explained what just happened and she told me I would NEVER be able to have children if that was how I acted after getting my blood drawn. Her comment stuck with me.

OK, now fast forward to sometime in mid 2006. My mom and I were sitting at her table and God began to use her to touch my heart. She told me Satan had a strong hold on me with my fear of needles. And that it would be a grave situation if it kept me from God's blessing. (By the way, several weeks later my mom told me she never intended to say those words to me and they just came out. She said she listened to herself speaking and knew it was true, but that those were not her words.) The thought of Satan having a strong hold on me infuriated me. The next day I made an appointment to have all the immunizations I lacked, which was everything. The last time I had a shot was in 6th grade, no joke. By the way, did you know it is pretty much vital for a woman to be up to date on her MMR before she gets pregnant? Doctors do not recommend pregnancy until a woman has this shot and it must be at least several months before conceiving. It could take the baby's life if the mom got sick with one of those diseases during pregnancy. That was one of the immunizations I was lacking. Besides being immunized, I overcame my fear of needles, through scripture, prayer and God's grace! Which this is a whole story in itself...

Also, several months before Jeff and I got married I got on birth control. Immediately I began to get Iritis in my left eye. It's somewhat like Glaucoma where it increases the pressure in your eye and can lead to blindness. Iritis is usually a side effect of something more serious going on with your health. I was tested for everything, Lupus, TB... everything kept coming back normal. No clue it was being caused by my birth control. No clue until 7 months prior to Brody being conceived when we started using alternate birth control methods. Now I know that with God's timing we still would have gotten pregnant on the 99.9% effective method but I also know that having to switch to a method that was only 80 - 90% effective allowed me to see how sovereign God is and how much He wants me to experience life through him!

I could keep going on with events like these but I'll keep them to myself and treasure them. I can look back on good and rough situations and see how they lead to Brody. The one thing that I love the most is that not only did God give me such a wonderful present it was also a surprise! I LOVE this because I've never had a surprise party and I never get surprise because-I-love-you presents, as most people don't, but I got one from God!

My favorite moments of this first year with Brody come at night when I rock him to sleep and gaze upon his beautiful face. The love I have for that boy is unexplainable. But it is also nothing in comparison with the love of God. WOW. God is truly love. I could/would never sacrifice my only son for anyone, especially when they are still my enemies. Thank you Sweet Father for who you are and the blessings of knowing you.

Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. This is so true. Here is a poem I wrote after putting Brody to sleep back in April.

Precious wonder as my fingers grace over your perfect shaped lips and beautiful face
Did God really choose me to place you under His wings?
My heart swells and with this new love it sings
My prayer is that a great warrior you’ll be,
In His kingdom,
May His desires be all that you seek
To think I’m a mother and you are my child;
Sweet baby, this passion will grow you up well